Turning Mistakes into Trust
A Cornerstone of Leadership
During a dinner with my mentor, he shared the three qualities he values most in a leader. Our conversation was briefly interrupted when the waiter, still in training and struggling with a language barrier, mistakenly took our order for lemon tea as fresh juice. Despite the mix-up and the bustling restaurant environment, he persevered, ultimately bringing us the tea with a warm smile and an apparent eagerness to serve. His determination to provide excellent service, even in challenging circumstances, naturally set the stage for a deeper discussion on the essence of authentic leadership.
After a brief chat with the waiter, we learned more about his situation, adding context to his efforts and deepening our empathy.
As he walked away, my mentor reflected, “First, I value initiative; second, a commitment to follow through on promises; and third, a genuine desire to learn.” He noted that the third quality shines through a leader’s willingness to ask questions and learn from every experience. Drawing on his 40 years of experience, he explained how these qualities form the foundation of impactful leadership.
The Core Pillars of Effective Leadership
He identified three core pillars of effective leadership:
Character: Personal integrity is essential. A leader must act with honesty and authenticity.
Competence: Continuous growth and purposeful development are vital. Leaders should strive to improve their skills and knowledge.
Trust: Building trust involves knowing your team, being vulnerable, seeking forgiveness, and maintaining high standards.
Insights from My Team
After discussing with my mentor, I shared his insights with my leadership team. We explored the factors that build or undermine trust in a leader. Here, I summarize our thoughts.
Traits that give us trust
Integrity: Authenticity builds confidence.
Personal Care: Genuine concern for team members fosters loyalty.
Encouragement: A supportive environment boosts morale.
Empowerment: Delegating tasks with trust fosters a sense of ownership.
Openness to Ideas: Valuing new perspectives encourages innovation.
Effective Communication: Engaging in informal conversations strengthens relationships.
Decisiveness: Clear decision-making with good intentions instills confidence.
Commitment: A leader must be wholeheartedly dedicated to their vision.
Tact: Thoughtful communication enhances understanding.
Open-Mindedness: Being receptive to feedback promotes a culture of trust.
Factors That Erode Trust
Conversely, several factors can erode trust:
Mistrust: If leaders don’t trust their team, confidence is undermined.
Negative Criticism: A focus on faults can demoralize.
Micromanagement: Excessive control stifles creativity.
Disrespect: Treating team members as immature diminishes respect.
Poor Communication: Lack of transparency breeds misunderstanding.
Bias: Self-serving decisions create distrust.
Dishonesty: Failing to be upfront about the organization’s mission undermines credibility.
Reclaiming Authority: Taking back power can cause confusion.
Harshness: Rude communication damages relationships.
Negativity: A doubtful spirit can be contagious.
Greed: Self-serving motives lead to disillusionment.
A Lesson in Kindness
When the bill arrived at the end of our meal, we noticed that the waiter had mistakenly charged us for both tea and orange juice, which we hadn't ordered. He quickly apologized and turned to resolve the issue, appearing noticeably more nervous than before. We took a moment to chat with him, recognizing the pressure he was under during his training.
Instead of focusing on the error or expressing frustration, we decided to cover the bill as an act of kindness, hoping to encourage his growth and improvement. His expression transformed, and he lit up with appreciation. We recognize that everyone makes mistakes, especially while they are learning.
This experience reminded me that mistakes are a normal part of any journey for leaders or team members. While the responsibility for mistakes lies within the individual, how we respond to those mistakes can significantly affect the trust between those who serve and those who are served. A leader’s understanding and support can create a culture where everyone feels safe to learn and grow.
This approach helps everyone involved and turns mistakes into chances for improvement instead of failures.
Reflection
These principles extend beyond the business world; they also resonate in families and friendships. I encourage you to reflect on what enhances or diminishes trust in your leaders, teammates, and loved ones.
How do your responses to mistakes, whether as a leader or a team member, shape the trust and culture within your organization?
What strategies can leaders implement to create an environment where mistakes are viewed as opportunities for growth rather than failures?
Can you share a personal experience where a leader's reaction to a mistake positively influenced your learning and development? What did you take away from that situation?
Until next month, I encourage you to lead with purpose and compassion.
*A new article will be released on the first Tuesday of each month.
Thank you Gusti - there’s much practical truth in this piece. I hope, all who read it, take it to heart, using it to ‘check’ their own leadership practices and style. ‘Everyone’ exercises leadership in their lives day to day. David
Great insight Gusti! I wonder if you could align the three pillars (Character, Competence ["growth and purposeful development], and Trust) to a more strict definition (Merriam & Webster) of a leader, namely "one who directs or guides (a following, having) authority and influence (to do so)."... (Just had this discussion with a mentoree of mine)...What I mean is... the three pillars could just as easily describe a good or godly person. What makes it distinctly aligned to a good or godly leader as oppose to a good or godly person? I think of a good leader as one who can lead or guide a following in a direction it does not want to go. Example: JFK Kennedy led the US people to civic service (something most did not want to do) saying "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country."