The Journey Inward

Four Cornerstones of an Aware Leader

"Lack of self-awareness," John Maxwell wisely observed, "is the greatest problem I see in the leaders I coach."¹

This truth resonates deeply with what I’ve witnessed: a challenge that touches leaders at every level, from just starting to seasoned veterans, across cultures and continents. Effective leadership flows from a clear, continuous understanding of ourselves, fostering trust and resilience in our teams, no matter where we lead. Yet, this path can feel daunting. Time pressures, fear of honest feedback, or discomfort with vulnerability, shaped by cultural norms or personal experiences, often stand in the way. But small steps, like a moment of reflection or a trusted conversation, can break through these barriers and spark profound growth.An organizational psychologist, Tasha Eurich, offers a sobering insight:

While 95% of us believe we’re self-aware, only 10–15% truly are.²

Pause for a moment and consider: where do you fall on this spectrum? This gap isn’t just a curious statistic; it’s a vulnerability for leaders entrusted with shaping vision and culture, whether in a bustling city or a remote community. Picture a photographer so captivated by a vibrant sunrise that they miss the majestic mountain range filling the horizon. That’s the risk of limited self-awareness: we lose sight of the broader, often more critical, picture.

To navigate this universal journey, I rely on a framework I developed, built on four cornerstones: Thermometer, Inventory, Mirror, and Circle. These practices, woven into the fabric of your leadership, deepen your understanding of yourself and inspire growth in those you lead, wherever you are.

1. Thermometer: The Subtle Art of Observation

Imagine your leadership “thermometer” as a tool for sensing the subtle shifts around you—the quiet tension in a meeting, a colleague’s slight withdrawal, or that flicker of defensiveness within yourself. These unspoken signals point to blind spots before they grow into larger issues. In a group discussion I was leading, I noticed a colleague’s crossed arms after I moved quickly past their idea. Sensing the shift, I paused, invited their perspective, and uncovered an insight that strengthened our plan and rekindled their engagement.

This observation transcends words; it’s about feeling the room—tuning into body language, tone, or silences, which carry different meanings across cultures. If this feels overwhelming, start small: after your next interaction, notice one subtle cue, like a hesitant glance, and consider what it might reveal about your impact. Over time, this practice sharpens your ability to connect and lead with empathy, building trust in any team

2. Inventory: The Courageous Self-Examination

Taking your “inventory” is like stepping into your inner “warehouse” with unflinching honesty, asking:

• What actions do I consistently take, and what patterns do they reveal?

• Do my decisions reflect my core values, or is there a disconnect?

• Are my daily priorities aligned with what matters most in this season?

This process compares the stories we tell ourselves—our intentions—with our actual impact. The saying goes that we judge others by their actions and ourselves by intent.

A trusted mentor once helped me see that past challenges stemmed from compromising my principles of integrity and authenticity, not just external factors. As someone who cherishes connection, I sometimes felt stretched thin trying to please others. By focusing on my core commitments, I navigated relationships with greater clarity.

Try this: Reflect on one recent decision and ask whether it aligns with your deepest values or reveals a gap. This self-examination, though uncomfortable, builds authenticity that resonates across cultures. If vulnerability feels unfamiliar—perhaps due to cultural expectations—start privately with a moment you’re proud of and one you’d rethink.

3. Mirror: The Deliberate Practice of Reflection

I’ve always believed that while learning from others broadens your mind, writing sharpens it. Your “mirror” is the practice of seeing your inner world clearly through journaling, intentional replenishment, and honest self-talk. Journaling, a widely practiced tool for reflection, uncovers patterns in your thoughts; a quiet walk or cultural ritual restores perspective; and naming your feelings—noble or not—without judgment brings clarity.

After work trips or intense work periods, I carve out time to reflect on the highs, lows, pain points, and moments of freedom, often jotting down notes. These moments of clarity, some of the most rewarding in my work, reveal what truly drives my leadership.

Even a few minutes of reflection can illuminate your emotional landscape. If time is scarce, try a quick voice memo during a commute to capture a moment’s “why.” In your next quiet moment, spend five minutes writing about a recent leadership challenge, exploring what values or assumptions drove your response.

These habits—writing, recharging, and speaking truthfully to yourself—polish your mirror and help you lead with intention, whether in a boardroom or a community circle.

4. Circle: The Wisdom of Diverse Perspectives

Envision your “circle” as an ecosystem of perspectives: a mentor with seasoned wisdom, a peer who shares your realities, and a protégé offering a fresh lens. These “loving critics” affirm your strengths and reveal blind spots.

As the literary giants C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien showed, honest feedback sharpens greatness. Their critiques shaped masterpieces like The Lord of the Rings and Narnia, just as your circle refines your leadership.

Feedback styles vary globally—some cultures favor directness, others subtlety—so adapt your approach. If seeking feedback feels daunting, start with a simple question: “What’s one thing I did well?” My peer relationships, grounded in mutual vulnerability, have been a source of clarity. This week, consider who in your circle can offer honest insights and what question you might ask. Building this “Leadership Triangle”—mentor, peer, protégé—fosters growth and trust, no matter where you lead.

Takeaways and Reflections

As you weave these cornerstones into your leadership, they become a way of being. Observing subtle cues, like a colleague’s hesitation, helps you build trust across diverse teams. Examining your actions against your values grounds you in authenticity, resonating universally. Reflecting through writing or quiet moments guides decisions with clarity. And embracing diverse perspectives sharpens your impact through honest, caring feedback.

This journey inward is a gift to you and those you lead. Research shows that 79% of highly self-aware leaders build more effective workplace relationships, fostering team trust and engagement.³ Wherever you lead, these habits adapt to your context, transforming you and inspiring those around you, from local teams to global networks. To carry this forward, consider these reflections:

• Thermometer: What subtle cue did you notice today?

• Inventory: Which core value needs a time-audit check?

• Mirror: What new reflection habit will you try this week?

• Circle: Who will you ask for honest feedback, and what will you ask them?

  

  We’re on this journey together—small steps, big impact. As you continue your leadership journey, remember the dynamic interplay of these four elements: consistently check your Thermometer, diligently take your Inventory, honestly look in your Mirror, and intentionally nurture your Circle. These habits, woven into the fabric of your leadership practice, will deepen your self-awareness and inspire a culture of growth and self-reflection in those you lead.

Thank you for joining this journey of leading well. I’ve poured my heart into sharing thought-provoking, field-tested insights to inspire growth in leaders like you. If you found this helpful, please share the link with your network to empower more leaders worldwide. I deeply value growing alongside you.

1. John C. Maxwell, The Self-Aware Leader: Play to Your Strengths, Unleash Your Team (New York: HarperCollins Leadership, 2021).

2. Tasha Eurich, Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think (New York: Crown Business, 2017).

3. Effective Leadership Starts with Self-Awareness,” ATD, 2023. https://www.niagarainstitute.com/blog/self-awareness-in-leadership