Overcoming Emotional Drain

Reclaiming Energy for Meaningful Leadership

As the day draws to a close, I feel exhausted. It's challenging to recognize the meaningful accomplishments I've achieved. Would you happen to find this familiar? Many leaders face this frustrating cycle, but understanding its roots can lead us to greater fulfillment.

A fascinating study¹ by researchers at the University of California, San Diego, examined Americans' total consumption of information across various media, including TV, radio, computers, and other digital devices.

The report concluded that, on average, individuals consume about 74 gigabytes of information daily, equivalent to watching 16 movies worth of data. This figure encompasses all audio, visual, and textual information processed through multiple devices and sources. With such a deluge of information overload and the brain's struggle to manage more than it can handle, it’s no wonder many of us feel drained before the day ends.

Social Media and Emotional Energy

Recently, I listened to a John Maxwell Leadership podcast featuring Mark Coyle, the CEO. In it, he shared his experience of stepping away from social media for four months. He made this decision because the constant barrage of discussions on social media was draining his emotional capacity, especially as he observed the negativity surrounding him. It struck me: if someone like Coyle, a high-capacity leader at the helm of a significant leadership company, feels the strain of emotional limits, all leaders must recognize the importance of protecting their energy.

I have seen leaders who are deeply aware of the impact of such emotional drainers. Some take deliberate breaks from social media, realizing its toll. Others only notice the effects when they’re already burned out. The issue isn’t whether to quit social media entirely; it’s about, as I often ask myself, Where is my emotional tank leaking? Then, take intentional steps to plug those leaks and protect your well-being.

Leaders, including myself, often feel the need to retreat from the constant pressures of decision-making, problem-solving, and navigating relationships. But how we spend this downtime determines whether we genuinely recharge or remain just as drained.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of activities that feel like rest but don’t actually restore us. For example:

• Scrolling through social media can seem like a mindless escape but often leaves us comparing, frustrated, or overwhelmed by negativity.

• Binge-watching shows may provide a distraction, but it often feels hollow afterward, with nothing gained emotionally.

• While enjoyable, hobbies can sometimes lack intention or purpose, making them feel more like passing time than meaningful recovery.

I’ve learned that stepping back from work, logging off, or reducing commitments isn’t enough. The absence of stressors doesn’t guarantee restoration. It’s not just about what we remove but what we replace it with.

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.
—Anne Lamott

We have to be intentional. Our minds can’t hold everything, and we can’t do everything. Without clear choices, we risk letting go of the tasks, relationships, and habits that genuinely matter while clinging to the ones that drain us further. Choosing restorative habits has made all the difference, focusing on activities that nurture genuine peace and fulfillment rather than fleeting distractions.

Emotional Drainers Leaders Face

Leaders frequently encounter challenges that sap emotional energy. These are some of the most common I have seen leaders deal with:

• Fractured Relationships
  Unresolved conflicts or lingering tensions with others can quietly erode your energy and focus.

• The Weight of Health Challenges
  Personal illnesses or the health struggles of loved ones can drain both physical and emotional reserves.

• The Trap of Unhealthy Habits
  Mindless scrolling, excessive gaming, or escapism may feel relieving, but they often leave people feeling hollow rather than refreshed.

• Family Pressures and Priorities
  Balancing challenges with children, spouses, finances, or extended family can compound daily stress.

• The Stress of Major Transitions
  Adjusting to changes like a new job, relocation, or life milestone can disrupt emotional stability and focus.

• Wars, Natural Disasters, and Political Turmoil
  Global or regional crises can significantly affect emotional capacity. Constant exposure to distressing news and the uncertainty and helplessness these events evoke can profoundly impact focus, energy, and overall mental health.

• Avoiding What Truly Matters
  Procrastinating on meaningful work while fixating on low-priority distractions creates a frustrating fatigue cycle.

Although these challenges might seem manageable, they can collectively take a significant toll. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your energy.

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What Can You Do About It?

Reclaiming emotional energy doesn’t require drastic changes. Start small and focus on building habits that nourish and restore. Here are some practical strategies:

1. Identify Energy Drains

I'd like you to reflect on your daily activities. What leaves you feeling depleted? For example, please remember if your social media use triggers comparison or frustration. Awareness of these patterns is the first step toward meaningful change.

2. Prioritize What Matters

Clarify your key responsibilities and relationships. Ask yourself: What aligns with my purpose? Focus your time and energy on these priorities instead of getting pulled in multiple directions.

3. Set Boundaries

Say no to commitments that don’t serve your goals. For instance, limit how often you check email or scroll social media. Use tools like app timers or specific schedules to help you stick to these boundaries.

4. Lean on Support

Reach out to trusted colleagues, mentors, or loved ones. Share your challenges, and don’t hesitate to ask for help. Leadership doesn’t mean carrying the burden alone.

5. Choose Restoration Over Numbing

Replace escapist habits with activities that genuinely refresh you. For example:

• Swap endless scrolling for a 20-minute walk outdoors.

• Replace binge-watching with a meaningful hobby, like playing music or crafting.

• Journal to process emotions instead of avoiding them.

Small, deliberate choices can create a profound shift in how you recharge.

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Moving Forward with Resilience

Leadership demands emotional energy, and protecting it is critical. By being intentional about where your energy goes, you can show up fully for your responsibilities and yourself.

This isn’t about drastic overnight changes. Start with minor adjustments. Pay attention to where your energy is going and make intentional choices that support your well-being. Over time, these changes will help you feel more grounded, focused, and fulfilled in your leadership and personal life.

Lead well—not by burning out, but by learning to refill your tank.

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Reflection Questions

• What activities or interactions in your daily routine leave you feeling emotionally depleted, and how can you replace them with habits that restore your energy?

• How can setting more explicit boundaries and prioritizing your core responsibilities help protect your emotional well-being while maintaining leadership effectiveness?

1. Bohn, Roger E., and James E. Short. "How Much Information? 2009 Report on American Consumers." University of California, San Diego, 2009.